10:40 p.m. - 2008-08-07
reasons
So maybe things do happen for a reason. Maybe. So I did that stupid accidental inviting eveyone I've ever met to Facebook. The downside is that I may have opened some not yet but pending cans of worm I'd rather not - though this is unconfirmed. The upside is that I indirectly, through some random person I accidentally invited to Facebook found this wonderful girl I was best friends with for one summer.
Her name was Marci and she was my co-counselor at Camp Lohikan. We both had dark curly hair and we instantly clicked. I haven't talked to her since the last day of camp - nobody had cell phones or actually used email or had Facebook or blogs or whatever. If you lost someone's address between camp and that spontaneous trip to New York and the 2 day stint at home before heading to a new dorm room for your sophomore year, that was pretty much it. I've googled her a dozen times to no avail. Turns out she married ( maybe shortly after camp) and there is literally no google-uncovering Internet evidence of her maiden name which was all I had to go on. Evidently, she was looking for me, but didn't know how to spell my first or last name. Ha! She posted a message on the camp web site some time ago looking for, I believe, Jessie Dobeus. Guess google couldn't find me either.
So, I found her, her Facebook site and an email address on some school board list or something. I sent her a message on both and now I have that funky junior high "do you like me check yes or no" feeling of anticipation.
I've thought about her pretty much every time I think about summer camp. I looked at the camp web site today and was flooded with memories of that year...our 11 year campers...who are now TWENTY THREE and COLLEGE GRADUATES!!! all of us doing a dance that Marci and I choreographed to "Macho Man". Sneaking off to the woods to do stuff we weren't supposed to be doing. Getting into the only bar in town. Corrupting the junior counselors. Summer lovin'. Ah, that volleyball instructor...
Then, that leads to summer #2. Which was all Lindsey and me and Pam. Pam was never good at keeping in touch and I haven't spoken to her in years and years - also not findable via Google. But Lindsey and I stayed friends and visited each other numerous times. Actually she mostly visted me...in Athens, and even Seattle. And she lived in michigan when I was there and she was the perfect friend. Then she came to Pittsburgh, and something weird happened - nothing really big - just some awkward moments and a small argument. And she stopped returning my calls. Then she called once, 3 months later and we talked and it was ok. Then I got engaged and when I called to tell her she never called back. And after an almost comical and/or embarrasing number of calls, I finally had to tell her voicemail I was engaged. She never RSVP'd to our wedding invitation. She never responded to my emails. I half expected her to show up at our wedding, but she didn't. I can only imagine she is really angry at me for something. But I really don't know what it is. I have had, ona number of occasions, half a mind to find her address and go straight to her house and make her talk. But I'm scared to know what could be so bad. Is it all just a misunderstanding or maybe something like she thought I'd change because Kevin and I got serious so fast or maybe she had something going on in her life that she thought I wouldn't understand. Or did I actually do something really horrible without realizing it? I was in a bad place in Michigan...we had a few rough moments. And that visit in Pittsburgh was difficult. But I thought we got past it after that one phone conversation. I know I ended up with at least one pair of pants and one purse that at one time belonged to her. Maybe she is mad I kind of stole her stuff by accident.
About a year ago I deleted her phone number because every time I was bored and scrolled through my phone to find someone to call and chat with, and I saw her number and for a while, I would call and leave a message even though I knew she wouldn't call back, but after awhile, I quit doing that and would just look at her name and feel sad and miss her.
So "The Facebook Message Disaster of 2008" went out to her.
And...she...responded. Well, at least she added me as a friend - hopefully not by accident. On my "feed" it says "Jessi and Lindsey are now friends." I got a tear in my eye when I saw that. "Are we?????" I thought. And I looked at her site. Apparently she lives in DC now. So, I emailed her a short "wanna be friends again?" email. More of that weird, junior high waiting.
I'm checking my email like every 17 minutes.
So, either everything happens for a reason in that classic movie kind of way and I'll soon see why this particular thing happened, or this is just a painful reminder of things I lost my grasp on and how important it is to hold on tight to the good ones. And maybe that falls under the category of "eveything happens for a reason" too.
