1:48 p.m. - 2004-10-06
procrastinating from unpacking
Is it wrong that I relate to Avril Levign's songs? I kind of wish I were 17 now, so it would be appropriate for me to sit up in my room and be angst ridden. Grow up Jessi. I know.
Brooke Williams has the best life ever. I can't even talk about it. She had better hurry up and get back to the relatively boring midwest, before I become so jealous I have to move to NYC. I can't believe you sat IN FRONT OF THE STROKES at a Ryan Adams concert that you didn't even have tickets for. How does this happen? That is just....wrong. Not just the fact that you were two feet away from them, but no one should have better seats than The Strokes.
OK, this blog is not about Brooke. If you want to hear about her dumb life in New York, read her blog. No, for real, I heart Brooke.
The Montell Jordon song, This is How We Do It is on....that's a good song. The lady who cleans the house at the Baird's house blasts (at an enjoyable volume) the rap/R & B station. We've bonded. "To all my neighbors, ya got much flava."
OK, as I was telling Katie, I'm trying to let this blog be a little more reflective than it has been in the past. Don't worry, if it starts to get more boring, I'll ramp up the biting sarcasm.
Today I've mostly been thinking about the fact that God chooses us. What a concept. I've been walking around kind of acutely aware of that today, and feeling half in awe of that, and half kind of sheepish and apologetic...like, I know Lord, sometimes you probably can't quite recall why it was exactly that you chose me....I mean, I know God's not really like that...that I kind of "dumb down" his awesomeness because I can't really conceive of how great He is. It's just crazy how one moment you can be deeply aware of God's goodness and hugeness...and the next minute you can't think of one good reason to trust Him. We are so fickle...at least I am. Anyway, I feel like I fluctuate between feeling crappy about how I sinful I am, and being prideful about how great I am. How do we honestly live in the humble confidence that God made us, and that He empowers us to be better? This is what I will be pondering today as I continue to procrastinate. I started knitting again.
OK, I'm going to be disciplined and unpack some things today. I don't know where I will put them, but I'll figure something out. Or I'll knit another yard or two of scarf.
