10:57 a.m. - 2009-01-24
bonding through distain
All is well with the babe - or at least with its heartbeat.
Here's a funny little story. For those of you who read my pregnancy blog, this is a repeat - sorry - but I thought it was good enough to share with everyone.
So we are going to a women's hospital that specializes in prenatal care and births and has a high risk department and all of the fancy schmancy technology you might need, if, say, the baby starts coming out of your belly button instead of your hoo-ha. But we are going to the midwives who have a special department WITHIN the hospital (I say this for the benefit of readers who may have the urge to scold me for being supposedly anti-hospital births or something but there is no comments section here anyway so - ha!) but, like down the hall, away from the frantic, clinical, hospital-ish environment in the birthing center that is more geared toward natural births and fewer interventions. Down with pitocin, I say! Anyway, we are seeing midwives who all share a practice WITHIN the hospital, and so we see a different midwife each time.
We really liked the first two. At our third appointment on Tuesday, we encountered the midwife who I would refer to as slightly "off." No real eye contact. Odd, fake-sounding tone to her voice. It's really unsettling to have someone sort of patronizing you while staring off into space. Try to picture someone with a vacant look in her eyes, but using a Kindergaten teacher voice to tell you it's important to brush you teeth before bed. Totally weird. She gave me a couple of unneccessary lectures without asking about my knowledge of the topic, and she was really bad at conversation in general. Kevin and I kept looking at each other like "What is up with this lady??" When we finally got through all of the usual check up stuff, she got out the doppler machine and started hunting for the heartbeat.
To her credit, she didn't give up after 10 seconds and go straight for the ultrasound, and she actually found it. So she says "Hear that? Swoosh-swoosh-swoosh?" I nod and look at Kevin to see if he also hears it and he nods. Then we hear this loud BOOM! Weirdo Midwife laughs and says "Whoa - did you feel that?" and I say no and she says "Well, that was a really big kick, right near the microphone of the doppler."
I smiled and thought to myself "Yup - that's because the baby doesn't like you either."
I wanted to give the kid a high-five. It was my first moment of bonding with the babe. We are kindred spirits.
