2:27 p.m. - 2005-02-25
Mr. Clean
"And excuse me, soap dish, but why is it so hard to clean you when you hold a cleaning agent, namely the soap?"
OK, let's talk about cleaning. I'm a kitchen cleaner. I love cleaning the kitchen. I love clearing off the table and spraying something yummy like Lavender scented Method cleaner aaround, scrubbing off the coffee stains from the counter. I enjoy cleaning the kitchen. Here are things I do not enjoy:
This vaccuum cleaner that my mom has, that for some reason, every single time I use it, the bag pops off, causing horrible dust clouds to burst out, engulfing me...what a terrible, terrible experience. And I scream and run around and yell at my mom for "this crappy vaccuum cleaner!" She just looks at me and says "It doesn't come off when I use it."
I hate cleaning the corners of a bathroom. It doesn't look too bad until you start spraying stuff around...I guess it's because it's mostly hair...and when hair is wet, it's darker, and you can see it more. I get grossed out when a reasonably clean looking corner becomes Nasty Hairy Wet Hair Nast Land.
Food in the drain. I know I said cleaning the kitchen was ok, but food in the drain is HORRIBLE. This is why disposals are the greatest thing ever....just spray that shit down the hole. But when you don't have one...it's like death to try and scoop that out! I grab it and run over to the trash and throw it out and do a little "EW!" dance.
Stairs. I hate vaccuuming stairs. It, like, doesn't really work.
The rim under the toilet is the GROSSEST place on earth. Can you imagine if you had to like touch it? Well, guess what, every time I clean it, I end up touching some part of my hand under there and every time it surprises and disappoints me. I weep gently upon the bathtub's edge.
Have you noticed your bathroom sink. Those white flecks on the mirror? These aren't just on my mirror, are hey? well, it took me a while to figure out what those are. I mean, it wasn't like, last week or anything...but I really didn't know for years. I think it's toothbrush spit. Someone said they think it's from people popping their zits, but I said no way, that's a lot of zit popping. It also might be from flossing...you know how the yucky stuff kinda slingshots off of the floss into God knows where...well, maybe it's on the mirror. Anyway, I hate cleaning that.
