9:45 a.m. - 2004-06-21
The land of wonderful people and spiders
Things that are great in Michigan:
Collin (duh.)
The Baird family...they are the greatest people ever. I ate the best food, got the best hugs from little girls, bonded deeply with a co-dependent Visla (that's a dog, not a new brand of drinking water.)
The weather in Michigan can be crisp and pleasant.
The neighborhoods near Ann Arbor are lovely.
Matt and Bev's place that they just bought in Detroit is a classic fixer-upper with lots of potential....big windows, an actual yard.
Things that are NOT lovely:
OK, so Jen and I drive around, looking for this house. A woman who Jen went to a conference with has a binder-type thing of Jen's, and has left it in her mail box for Jen to pick up at her convenience. We drove around for what felt like hours...just kidding Jen...which was actually really great because I got to see lots of neat houses and neighborhoods in the area. We eventually find the place and pull up the the mail box. I open the mail box, retrieve the binder and hand it to Jen. I shut the mailbox, get back in teh car and as I am about to shut the door, Jen screams and throws the binder out of the car and into the street. I recognise the scream of fear that a spider prompts, anywhere. I am out of the car and backing away from it in the blink of an eye asking lots of questions "Is it gone? IS it big? Is it on you?" Then I think to myself for a second "it could be on me, I suppose", which of course leads me to do the "The Spider Might Be On Me" dance. I decide it's unlikley that it is on me, so my dance was more like the version you would do if you were blocking out a musical during practice....not the full fledged broadway version....just enough to give everyone an idea. OK, so I come over to the other side of the car to see Jen leaning halfway out of the driver's side door, scanning her papers which are strewn about, for the insideous beast. I spy him. Now, if you can believe this...I take a pen, and move him off of the paper...I am so proud of myself at this moment....granted, I am sweating and shaking....I'm on RED alert, as opposed to the usual Yellow (elevated) spider alert status) but I am doing great slowly nudging the spider off the page. Fear levels subside. A sense of relief washes over us. Once he's off Jen enthusiastically leans out of the car's open door, grabs the paper and pulls it toward her into the car....FLINGING the spider, who was attached to the paper by the sting thingie coming out of it's butt, TOWARD HER FACE. Panic ensues. Argh! Argh! We are both sprinting and spider dancing....before I even have a chance to think, I'm 30 yards down the road. As I run, I'm thinking "Thank you Lord that that wasn't me. Thank you that the spider did not fling toward MY face." I glance back at Jen who is spider dancing but getting ahold of herself much more quickly that i would have. I cautiously walk back toward the car. "where is it?" I ask, hopefully....maybe she squished it. "I don't know" is the answer I had been dreading. It could be in the car. It could be anywhere. As she squats, carefully picking up the papers, inspecting each one, I examine her back and hair for anything suspicious. When the papers are collected and appear to be spider free, we then inspect the car.
We....NEVER....FOUND...IT.
So while the rest of the car ride was spent in fear of the now most certainly angry spider jumping out and attacking us...I have to say it was truly a bonding experience. There is a real sisterhood to arachnophobia.
Oh yeah, Collin, there is a spider making a web between the two plants on the floor in your media room.
