10:32 p.m. - 2008-10-14
the neighbors
So I was sitting on my porch this evening, enjoying the nice weather and talking to a friend on my phone. I was vaguely aware that the neighbors two doors down were out on the their porch too. The neighbors who live in that house are probably in their early 50s and have kids who may or may not live there - they are maybe early 20s and come and go as if visiting. I suppose they could live there but since their house in a near exact replica of ours, it is hard to imagine more than two full gronw people living in it. They have two small dogs named Duke and Dutchess or something like that...maybe Prince and Princess. After I hung up, I was getting the mail and I was vaguely aware of this strange bubbling, slurping sound. Like someone sucking on a straw out of a nearly empty glass. I didn't want to be, as we say in Pittsburgh "nebby" (nosey) so I went inside without looking. I later realized I had left my cell phone out there so I went out to get it, and saw I had some text messages so I stood there while looking at them and heard the sound again. Then I heard the voice of the woman who lives there calling for the dogs. Then the sound again, some laughing and then the sound again. Slurrrrp....bubble...bubble. I realized, after a few seconds, and some deep probing of distant memories, that the sound was that of a water bong. A water bong!!
Yes, Mother, I know what a water bong is...apparently well enough to decipher the sound after a few moments of thought. I glanced over on my way back in the house and caught a quick peek of this massive hookah-type thing on a table that a few people were sitting around. I was dying to run over there and find out who exactly was using that thing...it was hard to tell because there were three or four people on the porch and it was too dark to make out who the shadowed figures were.
Who smokes a water bong on their front porch?? Apparently 50 year olds with yappy little dogs.
Another thing about those people and their dogs. Whenever I come home and the dogs are out on the porch or in the tiny open front yard, they both charge full speed to the edge of the lawn and sometimes into the neighbor's yard between their own yard and mine and bark angrily. Each time, either the man or woman who is outside with them, yell "Duke! Dutchess! (or Prince and princess or Babycakes and Sugar Pie or whatever their names are) No! Get back here!" as if they are surprised, nay, SHOCKED at this uncharacteristic behavior. And then they laugh apologetically as if 1. this is the first time this has happened and 2. this is extremely cute. I don't really care about them running at me - it's not like they are DANGEROUS or anything...but this happens at least 3 times a week and I have lived here for two years and visited frequently for 18 months prior to that. And I, of course, each time, feel compelled to acknowledge the people and dogs "Hiiii, there...uh....doggies...so cute...haha....bye." It's very awkward. I love dogs, great and small, but I always feel like kicking them.
