11:20 a.m. - 2008-02-24
ha ha!
OK - this is painfully funny. Stuff White People Like - a blog on word press that you can find herere: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/ (thank you senor coconut.)
It is completely embarrasingly true and so well put.
Here is my favorite little gem so far.
(part of #67) So when white people go to concerts at smaller venues, what to do they do? They stand still! This is an important part of white concert going as it enables you to focus on the music, and it will prevent drawing excess attention to you. Remember, at a concert everyone is watching you just waiting for you to try to start dancing. Then they will make fun of you.
The result is Belle and Sebastian concerts that essentially looks more like a disorganized line of people than a music event.
If you find yourself invited to a concert with a white person, do NOT expect to dance. Prepare yourself for three hours of standing reasonably still. Although it is acceptable to occasionally raise one hand and point just above the stage.
I also really really liked this one. Here is the second half of the one about bicycles:
For the most part, these rules have been unisex. But there is a special category of bicycles that appeal far more to white women, the European city bike (pictured). White women have a lot of fantasies about idealized lives, and one of them is living in Europe and riding around an old city on one of these bikes. They dream about waking up and riding to a little cafe, then visiting bakeries and cheese shops and finally riding home to prepare a fancy meal for their friends who will all eat under a canopy with white Christmas lights. This information can be used to help gain the trust/admiration of a white woman, especially if you can pull off a lie about how your mother told you about how she used to do all of these things when she was younger.
And of course, it goes without saying that white people who ride bikes like to talk about how they are saving the earth. If you know a person who rides to work, you should take them aside and say �Hey, thanks. Sincerely, The Earth.� Then give a thumbs up. That white person will ride home on a cloud.
