9:55 a.m. - 2007-07-29
waterpark-o-rama
This weather is starting to really annoy me. I have a season pass to the local and fairly awesome water park. The reason I love going there is because it has many options to suit my mood. I can:
lounge poolside
swim
read
go in the wave pool
ride waterslides
catch up with friends (several of them also have season pases)
drink at the bar
And the best option - any combination thereof. Let me tell you, the wave pool after a cocktail or two is a whole new ballgame. Haley and I did this last week sometime, and we managed to grab a couple floaty tubes - there were only maybe 6 in the entire pool. If you've been to a wave pool, you will know that the waves come "on' for about 15 minutes and then go off for about 15 minutes. We entered the pool with the waves off. We kind of paddle out - me being a former surfer, i glided out fairly quickly and gracefully. Haley, being not so aquatic and concerned about getting hair wet or losing skimpy bikini top, had a little more trouble. We get out there and kind of float around for a few minutes, then the waves come on. While we were out pretty far, the waves are big but kind of gentle because you are out past the point where they break. We would just float up and over, gently, but they eventually pushed us back closer and closer to 'shore' until suddenly we are in the churning, forceful breaking point. Suddenly, our tubes become weapons of mass destruction - with almost no ability to control what happened, partly because we just didn't and partly because we were laughing so hard we couldn't even see, our tubes would crash with surprising speed toward unsuspecting victims. The first time, I came zooming toward and then knocked this very large man right over. I felt soooooo bad but it was soooo funny. He got up, laughing, as i was sucked back toward the deep end a little calling out apologies, and then came right back for him and knocked him right over again. I felt exponentially more bad and it was exponentially more funny. i look over and Haley is having the same experience. At this point, I am crying because I am laughing so hard, and basically screaming and laughing "Sorry! Get out of the way! Hahahahahaha! Sorry!" I finally had the presence of mind to get out of the tube, but Haley was completely helpless at this point, heading straight for a small gang of 8 year olds. I Baywatch-ran over to her in the hip-deep water and pulled her tube with me, the waves crashing over us both, away from the danger zone of smallish children.
We walked and pulled our tubes back out toward the deep end as the waves subsided, determined to stay out in the deep part. but once we got out there, we had to swim and then try to get into our tubes. I, again, the mermaid, as I have been called, got in fairly easily. Haley was having a lot of troubles. I watched her for a while and then decided to offer the helpful advice of "OK, face your tube, use your hands to push yourself up and then twist your body in midair so your bum lands in the middle." She stared at me and goes "Who the hell do you think I am, Greg Luganis?" We laughed so hard I started to worry, that Haley, struggling in the water, might actually drown. I tried to explain my "method" in easier steps and she complied with moderate success - she put her hands on the tube, facing it, kicked down with her legs in the water, lifted herself up with her hands...
Then her top fell off.
At this point, we both just crumbled in hysterics. Haley is not particularly modest so, since the "flash" was brief, and the 19 year old deep water life guard is the only one who might have seen, she didn't really care. We gave up at this point and headed back to the bar where we obviously belong. As we were walking, I remembered a sign that was posted at the entrance that morning - "Today we will be filming scenes for a commercial. Please notify management if you would prefer not to be on camera." More hysterical laughter.
The weather is messing up our plans big time. It is muggy and cloudy so far today, but I think we're going to go for it anyway.
