1:52 p.m. - 2007-06-09
mid-trip recap
I am in Hawaii. It is breathtakingly amazingly beautiful. Finally Kevin is mostly done working and I have a playmate. I was starting to get really cranky, spending the entire day by myself. I know, some of you achingly crave spending five days all by yourself at a sickeningly picturesque resort as a VIP guest. (Yes, we are VIP for some reason. Everyone calls me Ms. Marsh. It's a little weird but fancy-fun.) It has been really wonderful - snorkeling, swimming, getting a hottt tan, wandering around the city, traipsing along the beach. But. I am DONE with not speaking to anyone from waking until dinner. You people know me. I crave conversational stimulation. Poor Kevin. He gets done working and I physically and verbally pounce on him. Interact with me!!!!!! Arghghghghghgh!
Some interesting things:
Our hotel is the Hilton Hawaiian Village. They were not kidding when they said village. It's a gigantic resort right on the beach with over 100 stores, 12+ places to eat from hot dog stands to 5 star restaurants that we have no business eating in, 4 swimming pools, and an unbelievable assortment of wildlife. There are penguins from South Africa, swans, flamingoes, turtles, huge tropical birds, and gigantic koi fish - like two feet long, no joke. Huge plants and flowers everywhere. Immaculate grounds, manicured lawns, etc. It is absolutely beautiful.
Our room is a suite, probably 500 square feet, a balcony, excuse me, a "lanai", a large getting ready area, big bathroom, etc. They do turndown service every evening - put flowers on your bed, turn down the sheets, tidy up the room and put on soft rock music on your radio so that you return to a room that is what can only be described as "ready for sex." It's almost uncomfortable. I feel like we're in a condom commercial every time we come back to the room. Either that or one of those "if you have an errection that lasts longer than four hours" commercials.
On our room service menu the cheapest actual meal-type thing is a hamburger. It costs 19 dollars plus 19% gratuity and a 2.50 charge per person in the room. So if Kevin and I were to order a hamburger through room service, it would cost us roughly 25 dollars.
In general, the food is very good here. We have eaten at a wide variety of restaurants, from McDonalds, to pizza, to Starbucks, to diners, to Thai food, to incredible seafood, to even more incredible seafood. Pineapple and macadamia nuts are involved with just about every meal.
People in Hawaii like to eat Spam. Spam is everywhere. They even have it as an option at McDonalds. Sausage, Ham or Spam.
The water is the most fabulous blue color. Just postcard perfect. You can see through it, even better than in Jamaica.
The families here at the resort are in general, disgustingly rich and very polite and friendly in that reserved "Don't ask me what I do for a living because I don't do anything because my husband is the King of Bolivia" way. Most of them pay a lot of good, healthy attention to their kids. They swim with them, watch them closely so they don't drown, feed them lunch so they don't get cranky, slather them in sunscreen, etc. But a select few have the kid-crazies. Example: Madison! Jump in the pool right now! Jump in the pool into Mommy's arms NOW! If you jump in I will give you lots of hugs and kisses! Madison - Goddamnit! What is your problem! JUMP IN. Just JUMP!!!!! Forget it. Just, nevermind. I don't even know why I bother with you. (Madison, who is about 4, is still standing there, holding her nose, terrified of jumping off the side of the pool, but just as terrified of being rejected by her insane mother.) Arghghhghghgh! I wanted to Supernanny her sooooo bad!
In the room next to us, an absolutely horrific fight between a mom and a daughter who was, I estimate, between 9 and 12 (I never saw either of them, just heard) broke out as I was ironing my skirt. Apparently either the woman was either newly in a relationship with a guy who had come along on the trip or she had met a man while here at the resort with her daughter and a younger boy, presumably her son. The mom delivered the news to the kids that she was "going out with Robert" and cancelling some plans she had made with the kids earlier. This resulted in a complete and total tantrum of biblical proportions. I mean screaming and shrieking and flat out bawling. "I hate you! You always just replace us with whatever comes along! You are evil! Just SHUT UP. You shut your mouth! Do not talk to me again! DO. NOT." (this was all the daughter.) Then the mom, quietly, "You are a brat. A spoiled brat. I never had anything nice when I was your age. Look at this place. Look around you. How can you complain about me going out when you can sit on the balcony while I'm gone and just look at all of this. Listen, if you just settle down, I'll buy you that boogie board you wanted."
(It was horrible. It went on for over an hour, including the part where Robert, who was either new stepdad or new boyfriend or new one-night-stand, came in and tried to reason with the out of control pre-teen and she just went ballistic on him. YOU STAY OUT OF THIS. SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!!!!! I wanted to call Dr. Phil and stage an intervention.)
People surf here day and night. I am torn between dying to surf and dying to encourage my back to fully heal. What a bummer, really. But I am coping with the situation by snorkeling a lot. If you have not snorkeled you should do so as soon as possible. I bought my own gear here so I can go whenever I want.
There was a woman in the pool the other day who was doing handstands while playing with her kids. It was cute at first, but then it just got uncomfortable. The kids lost interest after about 2 handstands, and wouldn't watch her. Then she would get mad at them for not watching her. She actually yelled at them. She just kept right on doing her handstands. And, I hate to say this, but the story might not be worth it otherwise, she had a large amount of well, ummm, let's just say someone should have waxed before heading out to the pool that afternoon. It was grotesque!
We are considering renting mopeds today to troll around the city. Today is our Honolulu exploration day. Mopeds seem like a good option. Please pray that Kevin does not get injured if we do this.
