6:57 p.m. - 2007-02-13
101 way to look like a lame-ass
It has snowed about 5 inches today and now it is raining icy sleet. (That last term seems a bit redundant.)
So, my agency was closed, which I was notified of by a 6am phone call from my boss, the executive director. I looked at my cell and saw the number and figured it was her and tried to make my voice sound as though I had not just been jogged awake, out of a deeply satisfying sleep. she actually used a nice, gentle, almost apologetic tone, so it wasn't too jarring. And who doesn't love a snow day? So, I only went back to sleep for a wee bit and then got up to look at the winter wonderland.
Today I:
Gave the outside cat who mysteriously became and inside cat during my trip to Greensboro, and inside cat, a bath. The poor mangy thing. I must remind you, we rescued this cat from starvation and tried to 1. give him away to a good home and when that failed 2. allow him inside where he peed on the carpet and hissed and swatted at the other cats. I came home to him living in the basement. Hmmm...which person in my marriage is going to be the softie parent? "But Honey...he was cold..." in 20 years is going to turn into "But Honey, she wanted a convertible." Anyway, Gooski has been in the basement, well, sort of, moreso he has been sleeping on the very top step, pressing himself up against the door. This drives Henry the cat crazy. He sticks his paw under the door, to try and get at him. And meows sadly at us. Like "Why have you done this?" So, anyway, Gooski's health is declining. He is very wobbly on his skinny legs and his eyes ar ea little glazed over. He was so dirty and mangy I had to give him a quick bath. I filled the wash basin with warm water and a little soap and lowered his measly body down, expecting a fight. You know a cat is at the end of the road when he just went limp and would have sank all the way down, head and all if i hadn't held the poor thing up. He barely moved as i washed him. Crap. I wrapped his pathetic little self up in a big towel and carried him around like a baby for most of the afternoon. OK, I know! We are a family of wussy, bleeding hearts. He didn't even hiss at Henry or Ted. When he dried off, I put him down and he followed me around everywhere I went. He is back in the basement now, but I'm not so sure he is going to be with us.
I shoveled the driveway twice. This is a job i graciously allow my husband to do most of the time, but i thought it was only fair that since he was actually working from home and i was mostly reading people's blogs and browsing travel web sites (www.gusto.com is a good one, btw) I decided to head out into the "wintry mix" which is what the call it on the news when there is snow and ice, but that I think sounds like either a holiday drink at startbucks or a techno album. I have decided shoveling is a GREAT way to bond with neighbors. It is also good exercise. I found it rather enjoyable. Don't tell Kevin, but I kind of liked it. i shoveled the back driveway with our older neighbor, Leah and her grandson (nothing says "get your ass out there" like a 65 year old lady with arthritis and a 9 year old boy shoveling the driveway that you share with her!) i enjoyed myself so much, i headed out front to clear a path for Stacy, our other neighbor, who was at work all day...I thought it would be so great for her to come home to a cleared off walkway...when I came around the bend, I found that someone had already had the same idea! What nice neighbors we have.
I was also doing some work for work, looking into some ideas for how to spice up our staff meeting time. I found some really bad ideas. Here is one:
Ask each team member to write a 4-line verse to a song that relates to their job duties, hobbies, business ideas, etc. Go around the room and ask them to sing, rap, or simply recite (military cadence perhaps) their verse.
Ummm. Yeah. This was a totally serious suggestion. can you IMAGINE? now, Mary, (a 60s-ish african american woman who works as our cook) would you go ahead and share yours in military cadence? Emily, why don't you try rapping yours? Now, Paul, you just go ahead and belt yours out in a song! Wow.
On another web site called 101 ways to celebrate people, i found this as the NUMBER TWO suggestion:
Give people time off to give blood.
OK, maybe some people really enjoy giving blood, and are just dying for an hour off to do it, but it is hard for me to believe that people would appreciate that more than my usual "Bagels on Friday" gesture.
Here are some others that were puzzling or weird:
Include an employee in a �special� meeting.
Give Mr. Goodbar (candy bar) Awards.
Use 3x5 cards to write �You�re special because�� statements. People can collect the cards and refer to them when things aren�t going perfectly.
Give a note reading, �Thank you. You are a ______!" Attach a roll of Lifesavers.
Practice positive nonverbal behaviors that demonstrate appreciation. (ha ha...this one makes me laugh out loud, seriously. What the hell are they talking about? Am I supposed to learn sign language for "Thank you, Employee." Or maybe walk around giving lot's of 'thumbs up" and "ok" signs?)
Wow. The rest of the suggestions were rght out of Office Space. Just totally cheezy and lame. For now, I am going to stick with bagels on fridays and thank-you emails.
