click here for my SOCIAL JUSTICE BLOG
Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

6:48 p.m. - 2007-02-05
sources of anxiety
I find it distressing when people call me by my last name. I am not sure why but it makes me feel anxious and it feels like the person is trying to be mean to me.

Other things that upset me: when someone arrives more than five minutes early to my house when i am making dinner or having a party. See, I am a planner. I plan very very thoroughly and use my time very efficiently. This plan does not involve you showing up a half hour early while I am still in my play clothes and have flour on my nose from the ambitious baking project I have embarked on because I know you feel empty inside without dessert on the menu! I am planning to light some candles, to have the right music on. I am planning to have dinner just about ready and warming in the oven. I am planning to have the kitchen pretty well cleaned up so you don't feel like you need to help me with anything after the meal. I am doing all of this to make you feel cozy and comfy and welcome. So, please, do not ring that bell unless it is pretty freakin' close to the time you have been invited. I will be a mess. I will open the door with a look of sheer panic. I will let you in only because I have to. I will leave you alone, awkward in my living room because, well, you have totally caught me off guard and I am having trouble understanding why on earth someone would do such a thing. I may not emerge again for some time. I will probably go out the back door or slip into the basement and be really really mad at you for ruining everything. To me, it feels like you're showing up backstage in a broadway theater 20 minutes before curtain and insisting on seeing the show right then and there. So, please don't do that. If you do happen to arrive early, just do everyone a favor and sit in your car and listen to NPR for a few minutes. Seriously. I know i said I would work on being flexible this year, but this is officially where i draw the line. (NOTE: If you have ever done this to me, I am not still mad at you. There is no need to apologize. Just please don't do it again. Please.)

Another thing that upsets me: People being really late. Now, this one I am less frantic about, partly because my own husband is pretty much always late. And I am less enraged by it than the earlyness thing because clarly the earlyness is a CHOICE. Sometimes lateness is unavoidable, I know. It has happened even to me. But here is the thing, you chronically late people. When you are late, what you are communicating to the person who is sitting there waiting for you is this: i care about my time more than yours. i have such a hard time understanding the incredibly selfish nature of people who are always late. The fact is, you are either extremely selfish or have a little bit of dumb-dumb in your brain. My husband is on eof the most generous people I know and he is also extremely intelligent (I readily acknowledge he is smarter than me.) But he has a little bit of the dumb-dumb in his brain. See, he thinks he can accomplish a very large number of tasks in a very small amount of time. We will be 20 minutes late for something, not even left he house yet, and he still thinks he has time to wipe off the sink and counters as if this is a life or death situation, and is somehow not making us any later. This happens constantly and he is late. Pretty much for everything. I will almost certainly die of a heart attack, caused by stress from this issue. On my headstone I want it to say "She was always on time; her husband was always late. And that is why she died." The only people I know who are always on time are my mother and kels cooke. There are a select few who would get an A- or a B+ in this category. The rest of you suck a little bit because of this. I still love you, but you test the limits of my sanity.

I am also upset by people who tailgate behind you...when there is CLEARLY a red light coming up. OK, I know what frustration a slow driver causes. I am a fast, efficient, speedy, always going faster than the speed limit kind of driver. I merely slow down at stop signs. I pass on the right. I am FAST. So when someone tailgates me, when there is a line of cars backed up due to a red light, it makes me want to slam on my brakes so they hit me with their big SUV and I get a new car courtesy of their insurance company.

I get anxious that when someone besides me cooks the chicken, that it will not be cooked all the way. Ahghghghghg - pink chicken!!!! Arghghghghghghg!!!!

That is all for now.

Next up - Valentine Cards.

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!