9:42 p.m. - 2007-01-23
those damned germans
I drive a Volkswagon Jetta. i like to drive a good, solid, normal car. scratch that, i would like to drive something really awesome like a jeep on some days and something else awesome like a convertible other days. and something like a subaru outback in the snow. And so on...
But all things considered, my lifestyle at this point in time is served nicely by a black fourn door normal car. I had a Saturn of this sort for 4 or 5 years and now I have an 8 year old Jetta that has been mine for over two years.
Here's the thing. i like my car just fine. it has leather seats and a moon roof and all the fixin's like a cd player and power everything. I like it's blue lights on the dashboard in particular. however...there are these buttons and knobs, the purpose of which i have never figured out.
The funny thing is that they all have little light up symbols that make no sense. Well, maybe they would make sense if I knew what they meant. but actually, the ones that I do understand, their symbols don't make a lot of sense either. Like the one that dims or brightens the dash lights. It looks like a meteor hitting the earth. Some of them make sense but are just disturbing. Like the ones for the seat warmers that looks like the seat is totally consumed in flames.
There is this circular knob on the door not located near anything. It apparently had three settings. The settings are characterized by three random symbols - one is an arrow, one is an acute angle and one I can't even describe. I have turned it many times and do not notice anything changing.
So, I have decided to pretend it's an invisible lazer that I use on bad drivers to erase their short term memory. Someone pisses me off and instead of flipping them off, I calmly reach over and turn the knob and make a lazer sound (think star wars) and imagine them suddenly thinking "Wait a second....where the hell was I going?" Then they have to call their wife who already thinks they are an idiot, confirming her suspicions.
