10:59 a.m. - 2005-12-12
snow, after 80 degrees is kinda sucky
I think, definitely I could live on a cruise ship indefinitely.
OK, let's see...I guess I should tell you about our trip. Where to begin?
Everyone always says the same thing about cruises...the food is amazing and ridiculously abundant, the service is excellent, people get a little sea sick, the drinks are expensive and add up quickly, the cabin rooms are small, slot machines are fun, etc., etc., etc. These things are all true and we had a most excellent time. My boyfriend is delightful company even in large doses and a most accomodating travel companion. A few small and interesting hitches:
While we were in mid-flight on our way into Miami, the whole left side of Kevin's face went numb in that tingly hand falling asleep way and his eye began to water profusely. We both did not say this out loud but both silently assumed he was having a stroke and would be dead by the time we landed. I tried not to cry, and was quite relieved when it turned out to be most likely related to the air pressure in the plane and some sinus problems.
At our table in the formal dining room, as it is with pretty much all cruiselines, you are seated with strangers. You dine with the same 6 people (8 total) the entire time. SO if you are seated with, say, some delightful and pleasant Costa Ricans (like we were) you would be inclined to attend the formal dining evening meal each night. However, if you were seated next to some pretty rough red necks from backwoods Maryland (like we were) you might be inclined to not only skip the meal, but jump overboard entirely. Unless, of course, like me, you are deliciously intrigued, trainwreck fashion, by such people in such situations. I will describe these people to you as best I can using only facts:
They ordered french fries with EVERY meal. Mind you, the selections for dinner were along these lines: escargot, rack of lamb, duck, etc. They ordered french fries, which obviously did not appear on the menu anywhere at any point, each evening and plain chicken noodle soup (which was also not on the menu) two nights in a row. Mind you, in addition to the more eclectic and foreign-themed meals, you could always choose any of the following: salmon, steak, grilled chicken, caeser salad. It was not as though your only choices were monkey brains and sheep stomach.
While the rest of us drank wine with dinner, and maybe an iced tea if too much alcohol consumption had already occured throughout the day, our male Maryland tablemate had several bud lights.
There were several comments made along the way about people not speaking "our language" and about people not being white. Mind you, half of the population of our table was hispanic and our waiters were from India.
While we discussed our plans for Nassau, which for most of us at the table included snorkeling and shopping, we learned that their plans consisted exclusively of visiting the Harley Davidson store.
They returned from Key West with presents for the attendents in their wedding (they were honeymooning) which were Scarface t-shirts for the guys and shot glasses for the girls.
When ordering a steak at one point, the male Marylander, in describing the degree to which it should be done, used the word Blood or bloody at least 4 times. I nearly yakked on my goat cheese quesedillia.
The female half of this charming couple came to the dinner table one night with her hair shaped into some sort of very odd beehive-type arrangement. I don't know if this was a professional service that was paid for or if it was conjured in the privacy of their tiny cabin bathroom with a teasing comb and a shitload of Aquanet. Either way, it seemed to me that if one was going to go to that much trouble for an "up do" then one would normally choose to wear something to dinner besides a tank top and jean jacket. I'm not sayin'; I'm just sayin'.
Other "highlights" of the trip include several Kareoke experiences (I think this is mine and Kevin's new hobby) one of which included us doing our now famous version of Love Shack, and the other included the following: Me, the U2 song With or Without you and A LIVE FREAKING BAND. LIVE. Guitar, Bass, Drums, Jessi. Audience of 50 or so. Now, if you've lived in Athens and been my friend, you've probably heard my average voice through a microphone, usually accompanied by some above average people like the Schlagbaums, a Klingler, a Williams, a Preson or two or a Budde/Hale. So me performing with a band is not like the news of the century. Unless you consider that any other live performance I've ever done has required about 17 hours of practice and a good 20 minutes of prayer and yoga-like breathing. And of course I had to follow this beautiful, fabulous "I will Survive" number done by this girl in a glittery half-shirt name "Tory" who will almost certainly be on the next American Idol. And win.
According to our new best friends, Jo and Beth a delightful lesbian couple, and Kevin, I did a fine job. A couple even slow danced while I sang. That was nice. I'm pretty sure no one left in the middle, which is also encouraging. But it was no Carrie Underwood, I assure you.
We also played Bingo and lost. Bingo sucks.
We also spent quite a lot of time and a lot of quarters in the Casino at the slot machines, and ended up coming out ahead. Kevin won 40 bucks at the black jack table and some more at a slot machine, while I pretty much broke even on the nickle slots. You can play for a really freaking long time at a nickle slot machine. Granted, when you win, it looks like a big number....100 credits! Woo-hoo! And that actually is a big win in Nickle Slot Machine land. Well, that 100 credits turns out to be worth exactly 5 dollars. But then again, it's 100 turns. Which can last a very long time in a Nickle Slot Machine. Eventually, we wrestled ourselves out of the Casino, delighted to have not lost money, let alone actually GAINED some.
We got to feed gigantic sting rays in this penned in area in the ocean off this little island. We also got to snorkle with them which was pretty cool. We drank Bahama Mamas on the beach, snorkled some more in the middle of the ocean, literally in place where there was not a speck of land to be seen anywhere. We got a tiny bit lost in this really shady looking part of town in Nassau and decided we would not want to go there again except for the stingray feeding excursion. Kevin got a cuban cigar and after smoking it, reported that he doesn't get what the big deal is and neither do I. I sampled it and it tasted like a big rolled up leaf on fire just like any other cigar or thing that is to be smoked.
I would go on another trip just like this in a heartbeat. It was one of those trips where even if things don't go exactly as planned or how you might have imagined, your expectations are all exceeded, and expanded for future adventures. Plus, I'm a little bit of an attention junky and having not only my boyfriend's undivided attention for days on end, I had an entire staff of people on hand to cater to my every whim. For someone like me, that is almost dangerous. But in the most de-light-ful way.
