10:00 a.m. - 2005-08-17
dragging old ladies off the toilet
I had a hard time writing a new entry becuase I just didn't want to take that picture down. It's still up, of course, but you know what I mean....how CUTE was that? Sigh.
Reva wrote a whole thing on maybe not wanting to have kids...I think the official remedy (if one is desired) to that issue is hanging around regularly with three adorable triplets, with enough adults around that you aren't responsible for more than one at once. Come on up to Pittsburgh if you are in need.
OK, let's see. I started the job with the handrailing company. For the past two days, I have spent 8 hours making phone calls. In some ways it is just as horrible as it sounds, but in some ways it's not. I have a gigantic list of all of their past customers who I call to tell about our new products. I signed a Confidentiality Agreement and a Non-Compete agreement so I'm not really allowed to tell you a lot although I'm not sure why, but I can tell you that I have had some pretty bizarre phone conversations. The best/worst one so far was this woman who evidently is now living in an Alzheimer's ward (phone calls were forwarded to the nursing home.) She went from this really cheerful "how nice of you to call me!" demeaner to shouting obscenities at me and telling me she was on the toilet when I called and I had better not ever call again while she's on the toilet!
So, I'm kind of a telemarketer. Kind of. I'm sorry...I somehow feel like I've let the world down on this one....but hey, rent is rent and it has to be paid. Know what I'm sayin'? It's not like I don't TRY to get jobs I'd be really useful at. Maybe I will go back to the afterschool program at the end of the month...we'll see.
My dream job came across my desk yesterday. No, not the one where I'd be Bono's assistant. The other one. The one where I raise money for the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank and have great health insurance and get paid somewhere around what someone like me should be making at 27 years old with five years experience. The amazing/weird part is that my boss who treats me like her daughter is the one who gave it to me. She came into my office, with an odd, sad look on her face and handed me the job description and kind of gave me this look like "It would have been wrong to NOT show this to you, but I really don't want to..." After about 8.3 minutes, I went into her office and sat down and said "I might have to apply for that." She nodded sadly and after a shamelessly short pause, I sheepishly passed her the cover letter I wrote in literally 7 minutes and asked her to read it. She laughed and read it, intermittently nodding with approval and shaking her head with dismay.
I love how we're both acting like I've just turned in my two weeks notice. I mean, COME ON. How many awesome jobs have I applied for in the last 7 months? MMM, like 9. How many have I been interviewed for? One. How many have I been offered? None. Right. Now, if were'e talking about the less than awesome jobs, like the full time one I have now (which is ok) the one with the kids (which isn't bad either) the one where I would have sold credit card processors (where I told hem to go fuck themselves because they were creepy and illigitimate...ok, I didn't actually SAY that but I had to bite my lips really hard not to...) and the vinyl handrailing one which is basically just not awesome...yeah, if you're talking about those, I get all kinds of offers. But we are talking about AWESOME jobs here. And this is one. Which means I will almost certainly not get it, although my mother is praying about it and I am not kidding you, that woman gets whatever she prays for...I wish she'd pray that I'd win the lottery....if I win the lottery we're all going to an island for a month together. K?
OK, I'm due at the Enterprise Rental Cars Grand Opening in an hour and I haven't done anything today, really, except annoy this PR person who thinks he's hot poo poo.
