8:44 p.m. - 2005-05-17
Spiders on deck.
Today I almost died. Well, not exactly....who can guess what happened? Did someone say "a spider story is forthcoming." (?) Yes, you are right.
So I was out on the deck, wearing my customary "I don't care if I get paint or wood stain or whatever on this" outfit, staining the deck of Club Dobos, which encircles Pool Dobos, which is a favorite summer gathering place of Family Dobos and certain guests. The phone rang. I approach the Tiki Bar where the phone lives and answer it. It is Greg, the man who fixes my beautiful Jetta when something goes wrong with it which has been rather a lot lately. He asks to speak to my father, which is fine...I defer to him on such matters anyway. I lean over to gather the phone cord so that it can reach to my dad who is hanging onto the railing of the deck, perched on the outer ledge, straddling a rose bush that my mother just clipped. As I pull the cord out, holding it in one hand and the phone receiver in the other, something catches my eye. It is a spider, dangling about three inches in front of my face. I slowly back away and realize, as the spider on his little thread move with me that IT IS FUCKING ATTACHED TO MY HEAD. OHMIGAWD, Holy shit! I begin to whisper/scream "Mom. Mom! Im gonna freak out, I'm gonna freak out! There's a spider, there's a spider." You see, I was sort of paralyzed because for me in this sort of situation, any movement instantly becomes a "get the spider off me" dance. And when it it attached to your head, it is not wise to do such a dance, because it may, rather than be encouraged to move away from you, may accidentally move ONTO you and that would be very bad. So instead, I chose to whisper/scream "Mom! Mom! etc." The volume increased with each bit of information "It's in front of my face. Right there! Ohmigawd!!!! Arghghghggh!!!!" Mind you, the mechanic is still on the phone, which is in my hand. My mother gives me a look of disgust, shakes her head, says "People can HEAR you on the phone you know." and wipes the spider away with her bare hand as though it is a harmless speck of dust. The woman is a superhero. My father has in the meantime, stopped deck staining and has frozen with a look of genuine concern on his face. Ah, good ole dad..can always be counted on to empathize. I turn around to hand him the phone, shaking from the terror filled pervious moment...and when he realized what actually happened, he goes "Oh. Geez. I thought you were bleeding or something."
I don't want to know if the mechanic said anything to him or not. What could he say to him? "Sorry, my daughter is a completely irrational person."
I would just like to give a shoutout to Bev and Kelly. You guys are awesome. We will be friends forever you know.
I would also like to give a shoutout to Kevin who is also awesome. Kevin is riding his bike 150 miles in a couple of weekends for the Multiple Sclerosis Awareness ride. He is doing this even though the last time he did this, he got hit by a car an dbroke his ribs. Kevin is also being forced to work in slave labor proportions lately, while completing his master's degree and still manages to be a thoroughly enjoyable person.
I would also like to give a shoutout to Amanda even though she doesn't read this because she invited me to get involved with this really cool organization called PUMP (Pittsburgh Urban Magnet Project) that I am a new member of and very excited about. And Amanda is (fingers crossed) going ot be my new roommate starting August 1. Amanda has been doing a great job at finding us apartments and that is very helpful.
I would also like to give a shoutout to Brooke. Good job reminding me to keep writing our book. I'm on it, I swear.
Other shoutouts go to: Cat for not hating me even though I am never online anymore. You are the best and I am sorry my internet life has been cut short. And Patrick for not hating me even though we haven't talked in forever. Ben Cape, you get a shoutout just because.
That is all. Game on.
