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9:59 p.m. - 2005-01-30
avoiding desperate housewives at all costs
First of all, no one is on IM this evening. I may be forced to watch desperate housewives.

Secondly, some observations from this past week:

Ben Scragg is unconventionally handsome. Oh, I hope he reads this.

Kelly is splendidly sensible and just seems to be able to herd my most elusive and uncooperative ducks and put them most neatly in a perfect row.

Brooke is like, an adventure in a bottle.

I miss Mae when I'm in Athens and she's not.

My parents missed me a little bit when I was gone and I think the feeling was mutual.

I have forgotten how to "cast off" when knitting a scarf. Said scarf just keeps getting longer because I forget how to finish it. Help.

I think I want to start painting. How do I go about this?

ipods make lone ranger road trips ten times better. I need more Ida in my life. If you don't have some, get some. Ida. Mmmm.

I love how the "fort" or whatever in Baghdad is called "Camp Victory." I propose renaming it "Camp of Death, Destruction and Ethnocentricity." Maybe that's a bit long.

Kelly and April wrote a song about my mayonaise phobia and it ROCKS. Is one about man thighs on the way?

In other news...today, I went to the mall with my friend Matt. Matt and I have been going to the mall together for about 10 years. We started hanging out when he started dating my friend Jocelyn and I have many memories of Matt taking me to the mall to pick out things like a silver chain necklace for Jocelyn for Valentines Day in, like, 10th grade. Well, the tradition continued except that today we went to the mall to get me some new work clothes and to browse couches, as Matt is house hunting and is hoping to buy his first real couch soon. Shopping with a boy who is not your boyfriend is a little weird, because suddenly it feels like he's your boyfriend. I mean, how many platonic, heterosexual male/female duos do you know that plop on and bounce off of couches together throughout a deparment store, nodding approvingly or shrugging indifferently at each other? Not to mention the scenario that then ensued of me flitting from sale rack to sale rack, Matt good-naturedly trailing me and helping me find a non-three-quarter-length sleeved cardigan. Not that I can blame him, but by the time we got to Target and my armful of shirts was overflowing, he said "Ummm, I'll be in Electronics." Matt and I are the kind of friends that will never date each other, but always seem to find our way toward each other as soon as we're both single. It's good to have people like that around.

Another thing about shopping. See, it used to be that when you shopped, you took the items you've chosen to purchase up to the register, they rang them up, told you how much it was, you paid they said have a nice day and that was that. Now......sigh. Here is how it goes:

SalesPerson: Did you find everything you needed today?
Jessi: Yup.
SP: Was anyone helping you out today?
Jessi: Nope.
SP: Have you heard about our special super extra rewards punch system?
Jessi: No.
SP: Well, you spent 30 dollars today so you get three punches and if you come back between February 24th and February 27th, you get 15% off any $50 purchase and 20% off any $100 purchase.
Jessi: Um. OK. No thanks.
SP: Well, you're enrolled just by your purchase.
Jessi: Oh, that's fine.
SP: Now, I'll just need your zip code.
Jessi: 15137.
SP: and your home phone number.
Jessi: No.
SP: What?
Jessi: I'm not giving you my phone number.
SP: Oh, it's just for reasearch purposes.
Jessi: Well, I'd rather not give it to you. (extra long eye roll toward Matt. mouth the words "are you kidding me??? Matt snickers and shrugs.)
SP: Do you have a New York and Co. card?
Jessi: NO and I don't want one, thank you.
SP: You can save ten percent on your purchase today.
Jessi: I definitely don't need another credit card, thanks.
SP: Ooo-kaaaay. (as if I'm passing up the deal of a lifetime.) Did you see the shirt you got is actually 2 for 25?
Jessi: Yeah, I just want the one.
SP: Well, you can mix and match it with the tanks that are on the shelf below.
Jessi: Yeah, that's ok. I just want the shirt.
SP: Alright, so this is it?
Jessi: I know it's crazy, but this is all I want.
SP: Fake, obligatory laugh.
And....fade to black.

Geez Lou-ise! Seriously, the world is ending, and no one is even noticing.

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