3:16 p.m. - 2005-01-11
curves indeed
In the great tradition of Tracy Thomas, who now has a blog and who I can tell is going to top the list of Blogs, Extraordinaire...I am going to add to her list of: RULES FOR LIVING AT HOME AFTER COLLEGE (and after you've lived in numerous other places on your own.)
1. No matter how nice your parents are and how relatively easy they are to live with, you will still feeling like jumping off a bridge every time you wake up and hear the morning sounds that you heard when you were in middle school. Mom's hairdryer, Dad talking to the dog as though she were a person, Dad's talk radio. Etc.
2. Never question the parents' incessant speaking to household pets as thought they A. will answer B. have an opinion. Example: "It's raining outside. We don't like rain, do we Shayna? No we don't." Part of the reason this behavior should not be questioned is because inevitably, you will inadvertantly begin mimicking this behavior, engaging in such things as wondering how the dog is doing when you have left it at home.
3. There is a reason people in the suburbs have twice as many televisions as people. See, I'm an addict of the show 24 with Keifer Sutherland, aka Jack Bauer. My mom asked me to go to a bible study. She said she'd tape the show for me because I'd miss it by going with her. She used the upstairs television with the VCR in her room to tape the show. When we got home, she wanted to watch TV in her room where there is a VCR, I wanted to watch the tape which required the TV I would use to have a VCR and my dad wanted to watch TV, no VCR needed. My dad and mom generally do not watch the same things so they each needed their own. So I got the downstairs TV with the VCR. My mom got the upstairs TV. This left, for my father the TV in the guest room or the TV in my room. Or the TV on the back porch that no one uses in the winter. Fortunately there were enough VCRs but I could see us coming to the conclusion that we need another one. Ack!
4. When your dad is retired, like mine is, and is naturally worrysome, like mine is...you are bound to be asked more questions and offered more suggestions than you ever dreamed possible when you are about to head out the door.
Do you have enough gas?
Do you know how to get there?
You know traffic is bad there right now.
Let me show you another way to go.
Let me draw you a map.
Let me tell you how to go if you notice traffic backing up.
That road is a speed trap. Don't speed.
What time will you be home?
Call if you're going to be late.
Keep your cell phone on.
Pay attention to the weather.
If it starts to snow, make your way home soon.
Recently he was telling me to ask my car dealer about the kind of oil I should use in my car and he reminded me to "Ask politely." ? Along the same lines, on New Years Day, I told my parents something had happened on New Year's Eve and my mom's first question was "Did you get arrested?" Umm. No. Have I ever been arrested? Am I ever in trouble of any sort? My goodness.
While there are some strange phenomena that occur when living in close proximity to the parents...there are also nice things. You get to see how thoughtful they are toward one another and you get to experience how even though they believe in you and want you to get your ducks back in a row...they are happy to have you around and do nice things like make you yummy dinners and tape the only show you like to watch.
My mom and I are joining Curves today. Since it's targeted toward middle aged women, this should be a real trip. And one....and two....keep it moving Ladies!
