12:53 a.m. - 2004-12-03
love in an elevator
So tonight was pretty rad.
I have this friend who works for Pepsi in Detroit and she gets to do all kinds of cool things to entertain clients. Sometimes the clients cancel or there are extra tickets and so unemployed minions like me get to go and even bring a few friends (Matt and Bev).
We went to Forbes Field downtown to see the Miami of Ohio vs Toledo game. We couldn't decide who to root for, considering Miami of Ohio gave us one of the Pittsburgh Steelers better players, while Miami was also the OU Bobcats' rival. I think my subject-verb agreement may be a little off there. Anyway...
The coolest part was that our "seats" were actually the giant Pepsi Suite box-seats. Nice. Free food. Free booze. Comfy seats, room to walk around and socialize. The clients never showed up, and so me and the Hales and Lindsey and John and Nicole and Heather (The Pepsi rep) got to hang out and lounge. I think we were most engaged by the bands and majorettes. "Wow! Look at that sparkly outfit! I need a top like that for Jocelyn's wedding!" (I'll give you one guess who said that.)
We almost didn't make it to the Pepsi box, because we were briefly stuck in the elevator. Apparently there is some need for very high security (Who knows, maybe Britany Spears is really into Toledo University and attended the game...) because we had to get through like five different secuity check points to even get to the elevators. Once we did, there was this elevator operator wearing these really long press-on nails. I think this may have had something to do with the problem. We crowded into the elevator which was actually quite spacious. She pushes a bunch of numbers. The door closes. We don't move. She pushes numbers. Nothing happens. A couple awkwardness jokes. The press guy from Cleveland starts making Pittsburgh jokes. Matt Hale sucker punches him (ok, that's not true.) More buttons. Door opens. Door closes. Nothing happens. Attempt to re-open door results in nothing. Heather is looking frantic because we absolutely HAVE to arrive before the clients do (though they never did show.) Eventually the alarm is pulled. Door opens. We are ushered out by these two men who wear gloves and do everything very officially, like they're practicing to be Secret Servicemen. They usher and direct us very officially into another elevator with the same woman. The same exact thing happens in this elevator. All the while, all around us, other elevators are functioning perfectly well. We get into another elevator to be told we can't be in that elevator because they don't have "the key". Ah, the myseterious key that is always possessed by managerial-type people who are never around when you need them, and this key is always concerning items that are not locked, nor need to be unlocked. There is just some unidentifyable need for a key and a person who should simply be called The Key Master for all intensive purposes. If I was in any great personal hurry, you can guess what would have happened at this point, but I was actually quite amused. Heather was not. Eventually, she stalks off, four of us in tow, heading for the insanely near-by escalators. But the only go to the next floor up and we need another floor of upward transportation. At this point, we inquire a VERY confused security man, who gives the classic Pittsburgh answer to such questions which is....."you can't get there from here." Mind you, we are in Detroit, not Pittsburgh. I (helpfully?) point out the elevators about five feet from us, and we ask if we can catch one that's working on the way up. He explains that they only "send" them when they're full, so there won't be room for us. We ignore him and push the buttons anyway and eventually smooshed our way into one, much to the delight of the elevator mostly-full of middle aged men. I'm sure they weren't specifically delighted to see Mr. Hale following the small bevy of lovely ladies, but you get the point. Isn't that weird?
Has anyone else experienced this? You push the button for the elevator. A half-full elevator of all male occupants stops, and when they see the person about to board is a young woman or several, the men all get this half smile, half smirk on their faces as we board the elevator. This is almost CERTAIN to happen if the men in the elevator know one another and are not in a business setting. I'm serious, this has happened to me on numerous occassions. Are they just, like, excited to stand that close to cute girls, or what? Like, what the hell do they think might happen? We get in, the doors close and we rip our shirts off, yell "Woo-hoo!" and bust out with the bottles of Bud Light we have hidden in our purses? Maybe it's all about that Aerosmith song. Raise your hand if you've made out in an elevator. No, don't. But if you haven't, you should.
Anyway, we got their safely, ate some sandwiches, drank some beer and voted on who the best baton twirler was. And no I don't remember who won the game.
