3:22 p.m. - 2004-08-19
creepy car rental man
Today I am the proud new borrower of a white 4-door chevy. The model name starts with an A but obviously isn't particularly memorable, because I'd never heard of it prior to yesterday, and I've tried to remember it twice now and can't.
So, yesterday, I was chauffered from work to the downtown rental place by a nice young woman from Georgia who was new to town. Probaby due to her lack of familiarity with the area, her company car was equipped with a GPS system, which I had never seen in action before. I was very interested in how it worked and took delightedly to it like an infant enjoys a mobile over their crib. At one point, I was on the phone with Bob and the driver tried to turn down the "voice" of the GPS system, and as she was randomly hitting buttons to try to turn it down, it sort of shouted at her "No!" "No!" "OK!" NO!" Yes!" I laughed so hard, I was crying. I was trying to imagine why it had those commands programmed into it....does it yell at you when you turn the wrong way?
Now, let's talk for a moment about the man who rented me this vehicle. First of all, you don't try to "upsell" someone who has had their car stolen and is only there at your rental facility because their insurance company sent them there. Secondly, just because someone is a woman, doesn't mean she's going to succumb to your insistant urgings to spend another five dollars a day on a "sweet ride." This guy was a real trip. Tall, thin, balding, creepy. He called me "Babe." Nuff said, eh? I know, but I must go on. He insisted I come out at "just look at this baby", referring to this sporty vehicle he wanted me to choose. I trodded along, mostly because I was killing time before I was supposed to meet Bethany at Vito's. We rode the elevator up to the floor in the garage where they keep the cars. I nearly choked from his obvious lack of discernment in how much cologne one should administer to one's body. He showed the "sweet ride" to me. I said "Mm, yup, that's nice, but I think I'll go with the four-door." I said this, because I couldn't then (nor can I now) recall the name of the normal, standard compact car that woudl only cost me 4 dollars a day over what my insurance would cover. However, my choice of words was poor, because he took this to mean I wanted a four-door, and that alone was my reason for not wanting the more expensive model. So, he proceeds to go on and on about SUVs and luxury cars. I decide to cut to the chase and tell him I'm on a budget and this isn't an option. He does not relent. And you know what, he almost got me when he stressed that the sportier car had A/C, CD player, power doors/windows and an alarm. I paused for a moment thinking it woudl be nice to have all of those things, but did the math in my head and realized we were talking about a total of well over a hundred dollars, just for some nice coveniences that I coudl certainly live without. I firmly said I'd take the 4-door. We went back to the office to do the paperwork, where he proceeded to bug me to buy a tank of gas from them (at 2.15 a gal...hardly a bargain) because "it would be easier". Easier than what? Filling up the tank before I brought it back like you usually do? I guess that might make sense if you don't have three extra minutes in your day, but not when I will probably drive the car a total of 50 miles in the next week, when I will return it to them. I explained this to him, indicating that if I bought the fill-up from him, I most certainly wouldn't use it, because I only drive three miles to work. His response? He SIGHED at me. Sighed. Like I was being difficult. Then he insisted that I buy the extra insurance for the car, telling me no less than three horror stories about people wrecking their rental cars. Mind you, before he got annoyed with me, when he still had hope that he was going to bleed me dry, he peppered his end of the conversation with Spanish, calling me Senorita when he wasn't calling me Babe (this man was very white and very American, BTW) and an Arnold Scwartzenegger accent and actually said "I'll be back" at one point. Oh dear. I looked helplessly at the college student working behind the desk. She shrugged. Now, I know it's this guy's job to make as much money as possible for the company. But I felt kind of like when a family goes to buy a casket for their dearly departed, and the salesperson tried to convince them that if they don't buy the most expensive one, they never really loved that person. I was vulnerable. I was violated. Granted, I wasn't frantic or upset in front of him...but please all car rental salespeople who are reading this (probably at least 500) contain your upselling to rich tourists from Nebraska. You can probably convince them they need the SUV to survive the treacherous northwestern roads, where bolders may come barreling down at you at any given moment, even in the middle of the city and the roads could turn icy in the middle of August. And please don't wear too much cologne. It makes even the least creepy people seem a little creepy. So, the end of the story is that I got the keys and went to get the car I had agreed to pay 4 dollars a day for, over and above my insurance coverage. As I settled into the sparkling clean, new-car smelling vehicle, I immediately noticed a CD player, A/C, power everything, alarm, etc......I am SO sure. He almost got me on that one. Have we all learned a little lesson today?
