9:40 a.m. - 2004-08-13
state of emergency
No sleep till Ann Arbor...apparently. I think I know what the Beastie Boys were talking about. Well, my new perscription did not work AT ALL. I was so excited. And I tossed. And Turned. This is getting ridiulous. I'm just going to start staying up all night. Anyone up for an all night all-24 sleepover? That would be FUN!
So last night, we settled into Bob and Jenny's living room to watch another fabulous 4 episodes of 24. We were about halfway through the third one, when Renea got up off the couch to stretch out on the floor. Suddenly Bob goes "Umm, umm..ok, move out of the way! It's a big spider...a really big spider!"
Pandemonium ensues. I jump up on the couch I'm on, every hair on my body standing on end, and start screaming. Very helpful, I know. Jenny, who is possibly more afraid of spiders than me, hides in Bryony's bedroom. Renea peers around the couch to get a look at it, and by her reaction (Renea is not generally afraid of spiders), I can tell it's gigantic. In my mind, it's as big as a sting ray. I shout at Renea to get away from it...Renea is small. She could be killed. The spider apparently has scrurried under and hidden in a pile of blankets and clothes in the corner. This is why we shouldn't have blankets. Or clothing. Bob starts picking up the article, shaking them out, which makes me scream louder, because I can visualize the spider being flung toward me, flying through the air....shudder. I can't even continue with that thought; I'll pass out.
So, while Bob's back is turned, going through the clothes, the gigantic, monsterous spider makes a run for it. Because Bob's back is turned and I am completely incapacitated by fear, I think to myself, "it's all over. we've lost our chance. we're dead." Just as I'm thinking this, and Jenny is cowering in the doorway to Bryony's room, Michele springs, cat-like, into action. She leaps off the couch, large Harry Potter Book in hand, and lands on the floor, smashing the crap out of the spider in one fluid motion. I nearly died from relief. Michele is my hero for killing it. Bob is my hero for seeing it. Renea is my hero for not being afraid of it. And Jenny is my hero, well, because she validates my irrational fear.
I think that Jenny and I should go to the big spider exhibit at the Woodland Park Zoo this month. Maybe it will help us get over our phobia....or maybe it will throw us both into severe panic attacks and we'll need to be hospitalized. Someone should definitely come along and film this...
