2:05 p.m. - 2004-08-07
earthday and earwax
Megan Jerse's story about thinking she was deaf because of ear wax is hilarious. It's actually a common problem...not worth discussing further, however, her description of having supersonic hearing after the cleaning out process was amazing. It must be like living as spiderman for a day, except you can't shoot spider web strings from your wrists.
Speaking of that.....ok, I know we've all been thinking it, and of course, I'm gonna say it. If spider man was portrayed in the movie a little more anatomically correctly (was that too many adverbs in one sentence....can an adverb modify another adverb? I'm rusty on my parts of speech.) Anyway, sentence structure aside, what I am trying to say is that I believe Spiderman should be shooting the web out of his butt. I mean, I don't really wish that....I suppose in hollywood comic book blockbusters, it's much more important to go with cool/sexy than scientifically logical. Toby McGuire would probably have ridden out that bad back thing to the bitter end, if in the Spidey II script, when the wrist shooters start to fail, Peter Parker discovers that he has another web launching mechanism elsewhere....
I'm going to the dentist at the end of the month. I have a pain shooting up the right side of my head, originating in a top, right side molar. And so starts the hypochondriasis. Here is what the back of my mind will do for the next three weeks. They'll probably have to do a root canal...or remove a tooth. What if it's like infected, or dying. I've heard of people having a dead tooth. What IS that exactly. (pause to research on internet for dead teeth...go on to research every oral malady that exists, typing in words on Google like "shooting pain"). Decide I have cancer in my jaw that is spreading directly to my lymph nodes and that I have 3 months to live. Decide how to spend final three months and start giving personal items away. Begin writing letters to people I love who haven't yet been properly introduced to Jesus. Make list of trashy end-of-life things to go out and do like wear a bathing suit to church or whatever and smoke pot for a week straight just to see what happens. Drag morbid self to dentist only to be given a disasterously clean bill of health and a friendly word of advice to start using sensitive teeth toothpaste.
Hey, at least I have a coping mechanism even if it is a bit excessive.
Today, I cleaned my room. I mean really cleaned it. There is no big pile of clothes in the middle of the floor. I vaccuumed. Oh dear, the amount of dust and dust bunnies sucked up by the vaccuum cleaner made me a little nauseated...thinking I'd been breathing that every night since my last good cleaning which was in May. I am also doing laundry and throwing more things away. What a strange place we live, in which we buy things, then after a time, put them in garbage bags and set them on the piece of concrete outside of our houses known as a side walk....a word that doesn't make all that much sense....side of what....and then a truck comes along with men in it, and they take the bag and drive it to a place where everyone else's unwanted stuff goes that smells very bad and generates methane gas. So, basically, those shoes you (and when I say "you" I mean "I") nearly had a heart attack over at Nordstroms will one day rot and be all mixed up with fermented peaches and baby diapers to create a poisonous, flammable gas that contributes every day to depleting the ozone layer.
Today's lesson of the day is Reuse, Reduce, Recycle. Yay Value Village!
