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10:54 a.m. - 2004-06-29
snazzy and important
I love business trips. I love being in a hotel by myself, sprawling out on the big bed, watching television, ordering room service. Sometimes I like to jump on the bed, if the ceiling is high enough. I also like it that someone comes in and makes your bed and brings fresh towels, etc. I like it that you can usually make the room totally dark with the thick curtains and totally freezing with the air conditioning.

April Oates has recently experienced this, though we couldn't confirm at press time whether there was actual bed-jumping or not. Oates described the trip as making her feel "snazzy and important." What Oates does not realize is that she is regarded by the masses as both snazzy and important and she should feel that way most of the time.

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